The Aftermath

After a very depressing week, I felt that keeping myself busy is the best way to ease my pain. The only time when I'm not thinking about the car crash or Hammie and Jean, is when I'm thinking of something else. And I think keeping myself busy is good because I don't want to keep harping on the past.

This week, I've had so much to do. For a start, I feel like I'm camping at the airport. Last friday, it was to send my dad off. Then on sunday, we went to Swensen's at T2 to celebrate Gerrie's birthday. Jeremy, my sis's boyfriend gave us a treat, and it was also the first time Kh and Jeremy met each other. Just yesterday, we went back to the airport again to send my aunt off. And at midnight today, we went to pick my dad up from the airport. Tomorrow, it will be my dad's turn to send us to the airport.

For the rest of the week, I was at home working on my laptop most of the time. I added many new items to my ebay account, and also got back to mapling whenever I had time to spare. It's been really fun mapling again after a few months break. CM lent me his store permit to use for 2 days while he was away for reservist, and several "pro" items which he obtained when I was inactive, and I'm really grateful for that. Maple also released a new map for us to explore, and that has been keeping me occupied for awhile.

I also attended my cousins' birthday party at McDonald's. -_-" Ok, really it was my first time attending a party at McDonald's. I didn't do much there. The kids were playing musical chairs which I really did not want to join in even after Pei Shan tried to pull me in. Erm, thanks but no thanks. I stayed outside with Kh and Gerrie to eat instead. I brought my laptop along but apparently, the Ginza branch does not have Wifi. We got quite bored, so we walked to my grandma's house nearby to put down our bags, then headed off to West Coast Park for some playground fun.

It was the first time my paternal grandma met Kh. She was smiling from ear to ear. I couldn't help smiling as well. It made me so happy to see her smiling like that. The kind of delight that I've never really seen in her before. It was also the first time I felt so much joy in my heart after a horrible week.

I think this week has been a blessed week. Last week, my home desktop was down and it caused much frustration. This week, Jeremy came over to help us fix our computer, and that really released a lot of my burden and frustration. Also, Uncle Alan told Kh that he will be changing his car, so that means that I do not have to pay for the repair fees anymore. Just this morning, Dad brought back lots of goodies from Tokyo and Hokkaido. It was really nice listening to him tell stories about his experience there. Hokkaido is now snowing like crazy. It has inspired me to save money (or rather work harder, cos' I don't save T_T) to go there one day. What a beautiful country!

There were many funny incidents too.

On the way to the airport yesterday, my 8 year old cousin, Dennis, was asking us if we wear spectacles because he doesn't. Very innocently, he said,"My whole body not healthy only my eyes healthy." -___-" Poor thing! I wonder why he said that.

At the airport this morning, Gerrie and I saw a man wearing a t-shirt that says "STILL ALIVE" in front. At the back, it has all the disasters printed on it in chronological order. From year 2000-2005. "Bombings, SARS, bird flu, Tsunami, WHAT'S NEXT???" Quite a funny t-shirt. Haha.

I'll be flying off tomorrow and I'm almost done with packing. Looking forward to many many days of shopping and yummy food. =)

Double Tragedy

These few days have been a very trying period for me. I have yet to get over my car crash and failure, and now I suddenly find myself having to face the death of my beloved hamsters. It's one tragedy after another. Life has been going downhill for me. I'm trying hard to look at the brighter side of the situation, but even the brighter side seems dark now. Or, should I say, there is no brighter side.

Just yesterday, Hammie and Jean were looking alright. Jean escaped from the tank while we were sleeping, but we found her shortly after a frantic search around the house. She showed no signs of injury, though she left us wondering why she tried to escape, when she never dared jump from anything higher than her castle, not to mention the coffee table. We put her back into her tank and left Hammie and Jean alone for the rest of the night.

This morning, we found Hammie dead. He probably died in his sleep because he looked so peaceful. But it was so sudden. He was his usual self last night. We simply cannot understand why and how it happened. There are so many questions unanswered.

We then found Jean looking very weak and ill. She looked like she was about to die. Kh carried her up and fed her some water, and she looked better after that. But some hours later, she began to bleed at the vagina. She couldn't eat or drink. She just laid on her side, looking more frail than ever. I began to realise that her condition was probably more serious than we thought. I searched websites, desperately trying to look for an answer to this, but I couldn't find any. The only useful information I found was that we can use iodine to stop her bleeding. But by then, her bleeding got worse. There were blood spots all over the tank, and even on her mouth! I don't know what she was trying to do. She seemed to be biting her own wound! It wasn't that bad until she did something to it!

We quickly took out a bottle of iodine and applied a little of it on her wound, but it didn't help. She looked so helpless, and all we could do was to sit there and watch her suffer. It pains me so much to see her like that. I felt that I could no longer sit and watch. I had to do something! Kh and I rushed her to the vet, only to find it closed. Desperate for help, we brought her to the nearest pet shop to see if they've anything for her. Sadly, everyone in the pet shop didn't think she has a chance to live. They told us that there isn't any hope for her and that she would die within half a day, and it turned out to be true.

I burst out crying. All the pet clinics and hospitals were closed. There was really NOTHING I could do. The pet shop owners did not think that I should bring Jean to the hospital anyway. She costs only $21. A visit to the vet would cost at least twice of that. It isn't worth it, so we should just let her die. I know it sounds logical because she's just an animal. It's easy to say that when you don't feel anything for it. But would you do such a thing when you feel so emotionally attached to it? If it costs a hundred bucks for me to see her alive and healthy again, I think it's worth it. I really don't want to lose her. There can be only 1 Jean Grey and no one can ever replace her.

Jean was vomiting and shivering. Despite all these, I harboured a little hope that a miracle would happen. No one knows the cause of her illness. One possible reason provided by the pet shop owners is that Jean and Hammie fought, resulting in death for both parties. I really doubt that because Hammie and Jean never fought. They were always mating and kissing. They love each other so much! However, the pet shop owners suggested that Jean was probably pregnant and wanted to escape from Hammie, and that probably lead to the fighting.

Other reasons I found on websites are that her illness could be due to intestinal disease (which is common for hamsters), dehydration (unlikely), diarrhoea (impossible), and pregnancy. I think Jean had a miscarriage! I'm not sure of the reason for that, and for Hammie's death, but it could be due to poisoning. Hammie and Jean were perfectly alright before we bought them the puzzle toy. Now, a couple of days after we bought it, they die! I seriously wonder if there are toxic chemicals in that toy. It was made for hamsters but that doesn't rule out the possibility.

Jean passed away later during the night. We buried her next to Hammie under a tree. It was so painful to see them leave me like this. Suddenly, there's this void in my heart. The sinking feeling in my stomach feels stronger than ever. I feel like I've just lived a nightmare. The car crash feels like a thousand knives pierced through my heart. But Hammie and Jean's deaths feels like a million knives pierced through my heart. I feel so much pain within me, that my heart feels like its bleeding inside.

I can't sleep well at night ever since the car crash. I don't know how I'm ever going to sleep peacefully again. What can I do to stop myself from crying? What can I do to get rid of this pain? All I know is that I should put what little faith I have in the Lord to take me out of these tribulating times.

Oh Lord, please end this quickly. It's hurting too much for me to bear.

=(

I had my driving test today. I totally screwed up. It was worse than I could've ever imagined. I was doing fine all week except for last night, when I couldn't sleep well because I was so nervous. Uncle Alan was confident I would pass on my first attempt. During this morning's warm-up session, he asked me,"Got bring $50?" I was like,"Huh? For what?" And he said,"Later after the test go make your license. If no money I'll pay for you first."

Despite my mum's prayers and his encouragement, my nervousness finally overcame me. I was driving around the circuit too quickly, losing focus as I grew more and more nervous. Then, the most horrifying thing happened. There at crank course 27, the car crashed into the wall and left a rather obvious dent on the left back door. And it was only my 5th station (after slope, parallel parking, S-turning and directional change)! I knew then and there, that I was in for an immediate failure. In my entire learning history, I've never ever mounted the kerb before. Don't even mention hitting the walls.

When the tester told Uncle Alan what happened and pointed to him the damage, he was amazed. "Huh? What wall? The wall is in the field, how to hit??" No one thought it was possible until I proved it. That darn tester didn't even bother to try to prevent that accident from happening. Uncle Alan told me he's new. He has only been a tester for a week and is obviously inexperienced. How great. Now both Uncle Alan and I have to share the cost for the damages.

I had no demerit points for the circuit. The tester instructed me to drive out to the main road after I did my reverse parking (with the dented door). But by then, I had already given up all hope of passing. My nervousness stopped, and I went back to my usual driving performance.

On the road, I saw more reasons why the tester is inexperienced. He said,"Ok, go to the right lane, turn right." I was quite surprised because we're suppose to keep left. Uncle Alan taught me many times that failing to keep to the left lane means 6 demerit points. Ok never mind. I obeyed the tester's instructions. I went to the right lane. He said turn right, didn't he? I thought the right thing to do is to keep left first before filtering to the right lane and making your right turn. So, I asked,"So do you want me to keep left now?" He sneered at me in reply. Ok never mind. I kept to the left on my own initiative. After that, he told me to go straight! I thought he said turn right?!

Come to think of it, I think his "turn right" refers to filtering to the right. Hey, filtering and turning are 2 totally different things ok. What exactly does he want? His instructions are so unclear!

Anyway, I did fine for my test on the main road. I know that I have a tendency to forget to check blindspots at certain spots, so I expected some demerit points for that. After the test, the tester brought me to the office to point out my mistakes. During which, he pondered about it awhile, and decided to give me more demerit points! OK I know I already have an immediate failure ok? You don't have to make me feel worse. After adding all the points up, I had a total of 12 demerit points. I can safely say that some of which is unfairly given. Uncle Alan looked through my test sheet and said it could've been 8 or something, and that would've been a very good pass already.

I hate this sinking feeling in my stomach right now. It all happened so quickly, and I feel as if I've just woken up from a nightmare. I was given Route 1 for my test. Route 1 is so easy can? I've done that so many times! Plus, today's a perfect day for testing! The timing is great. No bus lane plus less heavy traffic. Yet I totally blew my chances for a first-time pass. I can't say I'll have the same advantages again for my re-test.

I'm really very disappointed in myself. I didn't just fail. I failed and caused an accident. I broke the world's driving record for hitting the wall in a circuit. I wish I was more calm during the test. I totally screwed myself up by panicking. Uncle Alan already warned me beforehand that I musn't panic. Everytime I panic, I'll tend to forget everything. Such a simple warning, yet I didn't heed. I feel like I'm about to have post-driving-test depression. Everytime I cross the road or sit in the car now, I feel a tremendous sense of sorrow and remorse. It feels like a thousand knives pierced through my heart. =(

I really wanted to give Dad a pleasant surprise before he flies off to Japan tomorrow, but I guess that's not about to happen. I told Dad about it, and he was incredibly supportive. He told me that it's ok and that I need not worry about the cost for the damages. Mum didn't even think it was a big deal. Instead, she thinks I should get an appeal for the damages caused. It's justifiable because it is part of the tester's responsibility and yet he couldn't even handle it.

Uncle Alan wasn't mad at me too. In fact, he was rather amused that I "broke a record". He kept asking how I managed such a feat. I couldn't comprehend either. My best guess is that I kept too much to the left at the exit of the crank course, resulting in the back wheel mounting kerb, and eventually hitting the wall. He said,"Lucky it's just the back door. Lucky they never make us pay for the wall. Government property leh. Hah." I was like o_O ... He sent me home after that. Throughout the journey home, he kept saying,"Hai... wastedwastedwastedwasted... so wasted." Not like I feel any better myself. =(

On a side note, all the testees in my group failed too. None passed, not even the repeats. That came across as a surprise to me. When I got back, all of them were already at the office! To think some of the testers in this group are supposedly quite kind, and all the routes tested today are manageable. I wonder what happened to them all! I don't suppose they share my record too?

Shopping Spree

Today, Kh and I were so bored at home, that we decided to head to Parkway to do some hardcore shopping. LOL.

We cycled there. Along the way, we stopped at Katong Mall to have ice-cream at Awfully Chocolate. Costs $5 for double scoop and it's extremely delicious. Yum yum!

Man, do I love Parkway Parade. Hah. It has almost everything that I want/need. #1 reason for going there: POPULAR!!! I know I sound like a nerd now, but I get so much stuff from Popular. Today is one of those days when I 'raid' the store. LOL. My main purpose of going there is to get the Lonely Planet's Thailand backpacking guide book for my Thailand trip. I've been eyeing on it for ages and I'm so glad I finally got it.

Costs $48. I know it's expensive. But I was telling Kh that my textbooks costs just as much and I don't even read it. This book is definitely worth it because I know I'll read it. It contains all the information you need to know for backpacking, including the history, cultures, traditions, places of interest, accomodation, and maps. In fact, I plan to collect them all, for each and every country that I go to. Globetrotting is my biggest dream of all time. At least, it's something I feel that I must accomplish before I die.

Well, I did go there just to get that book, but I couldn't resist browsing through the cookbooks, could I? Here's what I found. A beautifully packaged box of wipeable recipe cards for all the chocolate stuff you can think of. Looking at how pretty it is, I thought it'll probably cost around $50, since the other lousy and thin cookbooks already cost $40. But guess what? It's only $12.90!!! Of course I bought it! So freakin' cheap man. I don't care if the recipes aren't good. I think it looks good enough to be kept as a display item already. Hah.

I went on to get some envelopes and pen refills. There were other temptations like the Dividends and Risk boardgames (something I always wanted too), but we resisted it. The cashier undercharged me by $31. I went back to her to point out her mistake, and of course, I had to pay the remaining balance. Kh said that I was so honest. But I guess a clear conscience worths more than $31.

After that, we headed to Sam's pet shop, where we first bought Hammie and Jean Grey. Whenever we're at the Marine Parade area, we'd always drop by Sam's to see if they've anything new, or if they've cuter hamsters than ours. Uh, not that I'd dump those 2 little naughty ones if I do find cuter ones, but the fact is, there isn't any cuter ones (so far). =X Hammie and Jean Grey are really the most beautiful hamsters I've ever seen. Especially Jean. She's so pretty. Hammie's so lucky to have her. And of course lucky to have me and Kh as their owners as well. Heh.

I feel bad for having to leave them alone for 10 days while I'm away in Thailand, so I bought them a new toy. It's this box of puzzle pieces for hamsters and toddlers to play with. You can join the pieces to form a tunnel any way you like it. It's interesting I guess. Not just for the hamsters but for us as well. Costs $17.90.


Next stop, Watsons! I love Watsons too. I get so much stuff from there. I don't consider myself a Watson fan though. I know of a friend, Azer, who buys almost everything from there. She was my ex-colleague too, and everyday during lunch time, she'll stop by Watson to get chocolates and sorts. And she only goes to Watson! She doesn't go to Guardian or whatever similar shops. Now that's what I call a fan!

I wanted to buy a ziplock bag with bottles for my toiletries. It's something I have been looking for for years. I'm so sick of travelling with my shampoo and soap in huge bottles which are kept in plastic bags. I was so determined to get it this time. Unfortunately, Watson doesn't have the package I want. The bottles they provide with the ziplock bags are too small. Hence, I decided to buy the bottles separately and probably get a waterproof ziplock bag from Army Market. It's quite pretty too. I love it.

The annoying thing is that, after I bought these bottles, which cost about $6.60, I saw a packaged ziplock bag at Sasa selling at $5.90! And it comes with big bottles, and a comb, and a facial cloth, and a mirror!!! ARGH. Never mind. I'll pretend I didn't see it.

After that, I headed to Chamelon to get myself a hairband. My previous one broke. =( I like the colour so much, I bought myself another one which is exactly the same. Costs $1.90.

Then, Kh and I went to Giordano, Bossini, U2, Esprit, Nike, Adidas, Topshop, M)phosis, Marks and Spencer, and some other less common shops. We bought nothing there. The first 6 shops I mentioned have got affordable clothes but sometimes too common. Don't be surprise if you see someone in your lecture hall wearing the same piece. When that happens to me, I usually try to avoid wearing the same one to school again. Man, it's so embarrassing. ARGH. And the last 3 shops, are what I call SENTOSA. So Expensive Nothing To See Anyway.

Another reason for going to Parkway: to get a birthday present for Gerrie. She's crazy about OP. So, we went to check out the OP store there. Kh and I saw something that we both like, and we think Gerrie would like too. Unfortunately, it is not for sale as an individual item. You have to spend a minimum of $80 in order to buy that "thing" at a discounted price. Usual price $59.90. That "thing" is really nice and Kh and I couldn't think of anything better to buy for her, so we forced ourselves to look around the shop to see if there's anything we can buy for ourselves with $80. I shall not state what that item is because upon reading this, she would come screaming at me and demand that I hand it over. =X

There wasn't anything that we really really like, and anyway, we're so over that OP phase already. I guess it's more for youngsters like my sis. But, for Gerrie's sake (and YOU better appreciate this), Kh found a decent looking surf pants and t-shirt for himself, and I found a t-shirt that is quite nice.

This t-shirt costs only $18. In total, we spent $106 at OP. T_T

By this time, it was almost 10pm and we were the last customers at the store. Kh and I hurried to Breadtalk to get some danish for tomorrow's breakfast. 5 for $3.

Ok, I know they're in a pretty bad shape now. We only realised that, after so much shopping, we still have to CYCLE home with the LOAD. I'm sorry danish, but I'll still eat you anyway. =P~

Another reason why I love Parkway. It's got all the banks that we go to. POSB, DBS, UOB, MayBank, Standard Chartered, CitiBank. I can get all my banking stuff for all my banks done there. How convenient. I updated my passbook, and then we went to have carrot cake at the hawker center for supper.

It's actually called Veg Oil Carrot Cake. I thought that was weird. I can't remember the stall's name but it has a Good Food label. I wonder how they grade food these days. The carrot cake (we ordered $2), has no ingredients. It was just a very very soft and soggy plate of carrot cake, plus a bit of egg, and lotsa lotsa oil. After eating it, there was this oil taste in our mouths and we left with a very bad impression for the stall. I was like,"No wonder it's called Veg Oil Carrot Cake." (If anybody wants to eat good carrot cake, I recommend Soon Lee stall at Haig Road Hawker Center.)

$100+ spent in 3 hours. Not a large sum considering the number of things we bought, and it left us (especially me), very very satisfied. =) I don't always shop you know.

My new laptop!

After almost a year of waiting, I finally got a laptop for myself. I missed the previous 2 PC shows because the timing wasn't right. And I realised that I'm going to be missing the 3rd one as well because I'll be in Thailand during that time. So, I decided that there was no point waiting anymore. I ordered a Dell laptop online more than 2 weeks ago.


I'm only posting about it now because my new router wasn't working, and it affected the desktop's internet connection. I had to get the computer repair man to come down and fix it for us. I can say it's worth it because the problem turned out to be much more complicating than I thought, and it also eased the burden and frustration I had, when I tried all I could to fix it myself.


Here are some pictures of my new laptop!

Dell is so efficient! The delivery was 3 days earlier than the estimated date. It would've been 4 days earlier if not for the Hari Raya holiday. They also called me up to tell me they would be coming at around 7-10pm, but the delivery man came at 5pm! Eh, that's a lot earlier man. Thank goodness I was at home.

Anyway, I was browsing through the available laptop models and brands on offer, and I narrowed my choice down to Acer, Dell, and HP. The 3 models for these laptops have similar specifications, and some minor differences. Acer's laptop design is the nicest, but the specifications didn't exactly suit my requirement. HP's laptop design is nice too, but it's way too expensive for what it's worth (even after the discount).

I wouldn't say I LOVE this dell laptop model. It's thick and heavy, and it's sooo silver. But Dell allows me to change the specifications to suit my requirements, and it's a major PLUS factor already. Also, after upgrading, it's better than the other 2 laptops but much cheaper. Why not? I asked myself. Laptops are going to get cheaper and cheaper with the rapid advancement of technology. There wasn't any point getting a super high-end one. Plus, Windows Vista is going to be launched next year. I don't think I'll be using this for too long anyway.

Kh and my mum totally approved of me buying this Dell laptop over other models, so I guess it wasn't such a hard decision.

It costs $1.4k+, with upgrade of processor (from 1.66Ghz to 1.87Ghz), RAM (from 512mb to 1G), and 15 months Norton subscription. Initially, I wanted to upgrade the harddisk to 80G or 120G. But CM said 60G is more than enough for me, and I agreed. So I upgraded the processor instead of the harddisk.

Hah, finally have my own laptop now (paid it in cash myself k... T_T). Totally enjoying it now. =D